Avens Dolor

Wow. I'm extremely impressed with you right now. This is leaps and bounds better! In fact, you may have just thrown my entire lesson plan out the window. One thing ...

Comments in red. The last person I wanted to be with on earth was with me that night, under a nearly dilapidated waiting shed that seemed to be apologizing to ...

I'm not sure what style of ghosts you're looking for, so it's kind of hard to give you an answer. Watch "Ghost Hunters" of scifi or something similar. I'd suggest ...

Glad I helped!

Comments in red. She lay there, flat on her stomach Comma. watching the shadows pass over her soft purple bed sheets. And then they stopped, almost as if frozen in ...

Would you hate me if I just posted weblinks? ;) Those mostly help with question one, but can probably launch your research. I'd hazard, for Q2, that the guy would ...

Beautifully written and chock full of emotion. The opening stanza is gorgeous. Perfect. My only nitpicks with the rest: If you had a chance to never have existed, would you ...

Comments in red. Flames licked the sky and stained it a crimson red Will sound much better as "and stained it crimson". Trust me: readers will know that crimson is ...

You request a rip? Oh the horror! Careful what you wish for, when Avens is trolling the boards. ;) Comments in red. I don't remember how long ago it started. ...

Comments in red. This man was pale, his skin the color of moonlight. It shone as a silver dollar in the midnight sun. His eyes were of the clearest blue. ...

Comments in red. PREFACE If you could solve all the mysteries in this world, what would you see? Perhaps it's only me, but this seems a little awkward. I would ...

Comments in red. 'Too much patience, I can’t take it any more I have to do this I have make my move. Big run-on, there. Either break it into smaller ...

Just get the ideas written. Don't worry about how the prose sounds, or about how good it is. At the start, it's purely the concept that matters--the rest comes through ...

Turns out that I have internet access after all, so I've come back for a second look. Hokay. As you've indicated that you're willing to spend time on this, I'm ...

Hokay. As you've indicated that you're willing to spend time on this, I'm going to try and break this down, so that it's not all a rush and you actually ...